#OFWMoments - #Kabit #Lover

For several months, I was my girlfriend's lover. I was her best friend. I loved her. We shared almost everything to the point that keeping secrets was useless. She was my diary, and so was I to her. We were connected to something most people couldn't have. I wouldn't call it love. It was more than that.

For several months, we would go out. We would shop together, buy groceries together or just have coffee. Those were the days that made me special. We would exchange amazing ideas that would fill us with knowledge and the power to look at things in a different way. We were intelligent, cultured people. 

We were connected.

Both of us have gone through something. And we supported each other in whatever way. We lived for each other. We supported each other.

If there is one thing I miss the most, it's our conversations. They were anchored in solid ground of intelligent value, culture and wit. We would text or call and still the connection was there. 

We were one: no more, no less.

We had something strong. But it was wrong. She was in a relationship and I wasn't. We were secret lovers. Only the two of us know of what we have. I was the lover. The secret lover. The second best.

The love was undeniable between us but we know it wasn't right. And someday, we would get hurt. It will hurt so much that going in a relationship would haunt us. I didn't know what came over me But I did not let her choose between me of the right one. I was happy - very happy.

People judged me for what I did but I didn't care. I did not give a damn on what they thought. They didn't give me happiness. She did. The happiness I felt was sky high. I can't describe it. It often makes me smile. It was honest, real - It was love. Holding on to it seemed to be the best thing to do in my life.

But I couldn't lie anymore. Keeping it would kill me. I had to let it out. I had to bring it in front of me.

She left me fore him. She had to let go. And I fell. 

Like I said before, I would get hurt. 

So damn hurt.

i often would catch myself crying about the past that i made. it would still hurt the same way it did. it was my own poison. and it was within me. in my heart.

Weeks went by, but still I couldn't stand up. 

I was left alone from the several months of holding on. 

Waking up to find out that I will never be the right one.

#OFWMoments #Kabit #BrokenHeart